My Love Affair with Stefani Germanotta

2009 was a decent year, considering. I started college, realized that I have a strong dependency on my parents, saw a bunch of films that are now on my favorite 20 list (see previous post) and best of all: earlier this year, I met a girl.

I was engaging in my morning ritual of warm toast and music videos when she came into my life. She and I just hit it off as they say. She hails from a small Italian family in Manhattan and I from a small island in the Caribbean. It was meant to be.

Stefani or Lady Gaga (as her non-familial compadres refer to her) is a performer--in every sense of the word. We immediately bonded over our dramatic personalities and love for out-of-this-world outfits. From the get-go, I knew that Stefani and I were destined to be soul-mates. Even though she's said that the only thing she cares about in a partner is "a big dick", I know in my heart that every time she sings "Alejandro", she mourns inside for my long-lost love. That song, a sendoff of all of her lovers (code for me) utters my name repeatedly. She strategically placed it between Alejandro and Roberto so I seem like a step in the ladder of her relationships but I like to think of that placement as a pyramid. A pyramid who's pinnacle is at my name.

In the end I know she cared about me because I once told her that she should wear a full-face white mask with pointy tips for one of her videos. She did...but sadly, however, she did so only after we had broken up. I guess it was a form of closure for her. I just never saw the signs. She was always babbling about being caught in some kind of bad romance. I guess I should've listened...

Ironically, listening is all I do now. Her songs are smash hits and the world worships her fame. Having to listen to her angelic vocal chords, to be fair, is the cruelest punishment of all. Stefani Germanotta, to borrow a line from your song "Monster" off the hit new album, The Fame Monster, "You ate my heart."

Hasta Luego,

The Guy in the (Not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

Questions? Concerns? Advice? Insults? Lay em' on me!

To Borrow a Trite Cliché: Welcome to my World

To be honest, the only reason I'm even writing this blog is because I have opinions too.

I have reasoned that there must be someone on this tiny spinning orb of disillusionment that gives a shit about this endeavor of mine. If one day, someone tells me that they liked a single post, this blog's existence will be validated in my book.

Now for the day's lemon juice. I figured an appropriate way to kick off this party is to say something about myself so without further ado...here goes nothing.

First off, I'm a college freshman in the lovely (and decidedly frigid) northeast of the glorious Obamanified Estados Unidos. I'm also a 19-year-old dude so I'm not expecting myself to be a well of awe-inspiring knowledge. Although I might throw a witty anecdote or two at you every once in a while.

And now the gritty deets. I'm a lefty, I'm afraid of bees, I supported Obama up until he declared the deployment of another 30,000 troops, I have a potty mouth, I'm a dog person, I secretly want to get the same tattoo that Matthew Fox (Doctor Jack Shepard on Lost) has on his left arm (shown above), and...I love movies more than life. My perfect date would consist of going to dinner at a fancy French restaurant and going to a great movie afterward. The better the movie, the better my performance in the sack following said movie. For example, if I had seen V for Vendetta on a date, the aftermath? Let's just say it would have been one for the books.

Well, I think I've said enough for what was supposed to be a curt initial sampler of my deranged rhetoric. I think a great way to wrap up would be to list my favorite 20 movies. After all, movies are the cat's pajamas to me. Anyway, thanks for reading and if I float your web-surfing boat, do come back.

20. Star Trek (J.J. Abrams Version)
19. The Prestige
18. Up in the Air
17. Being John Malkovich
16. Something's Gotta Give
15. As Good As It Gets
14. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
13. The Big Lebowski
12. The 40-Year-Old-Virgin
11. Casino Royale
10. The Matrix
9. No Country for Old Men
8. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
7. Mean Girls
6. Terminator: Judgment Day
5. Collateral
4. The Dark Knight
3. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
2. V for Vendetta
1. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Toodles,

The Guy in the (Not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

P.S. It took me about half an hour of perusing my DVDs and serious contemplation to put together the list above. I care about this blog that much. Just something to think about.

Questions? Concerns? Advice? Insults? Lay em' on me!