Allergy Season

Sup?

Surprised I'm back so soon? Eh, what can I say, I'm crazy unpredictable like that. I guess I'm just in the mood to talk about things (naturally pop-culture things) that confuse, bore, or just plain bug me. Read on if ya like.

Enjoy (btw these aren't in any particular order):

1.) Mad Men

Why?? Why, oh, Why do people love this bore-fest so much?? I've tried watching it twice now. Both times, I literally fell asleep. I know my opinion might come off as shallow (especially considering the myriad awards this show has received) but has anyone below 40 actually made it past a single episode? Food for thought...Oh and if you were wondering how boring Mad Men actually is, see that picture above? That's just about as exciting as it gets.

2.) Matthew Broderick

If over-acting was a crime, Broderick would be Cell Block D's bitch by now...eehh...a guy can dream, right?...His repertoire of standout crapfests includes: Deck the Halls, Inspector Gadget, and pretty much any public appearance he's ever made. And to think that I adore his lovely wife...Sarah Jessica, wtf were you thinking???

Okay, I'm going to get lynched for this one...(Remember: this list is based solely on my personal opinion...)

3.) Beyoncé

Before you pop a glock in my mouth and make a brain slushie (holla at Jessi Slaughter), hear me out. First off, Beyoncé is not the diva queen. That title is reserved for GaGa. If not Madge. Secondly, I was never a fan of the old B...I was always loyal to the lovely Kelly Rowland who, in my opinion, has the best voice of the original trio (check out her awesome new single below). Add to that the fact that she has a big ego, she's married to Jay-Z, she can't dance to save her life, and oh yeah, her music blows.



4.) David Letterman

The worst late night talk-show host. Ever. Combining humorless jokes with not-so-subtle cynicism and one heck of a creepy laugh, Letterman is the Mr. Herbert of late night. I mean, c'mon, I can't be the only one that gets a pervy vibe from this dude, right?

5.) The LOST Finale

Ugh, where do I even start?? I watch a lot of television (some might even say that's an understatement) but I have never fallen in love with a show the way I did with LOST. That is, until the mind-numbingly flawed finale. After sticking with the survivors of Oceanic 815 for 6 years, I was indeed expecting a payoff in the form of some goddamn answers! And [SPOILER ALERT] I was sadly disappointed. Sure the acting was phenomenal (Matthew Fox, I salute you) but was it enough to save the finale from a cheese overdose and a blatant writing cop-out? Nope.

6.) Laugh Tracks

I know this doesn't really count as pop-culture but I seriously can't help it. Laugh tracks are the bane of my existence. I honestly don't get them. Why would anyone want to be told when to laugh?? And it drives me crazy when the laugh track plays and there is absolutely nothing worth laughing about...

Consider this: does The Big Bang Theory really need laugh tracks to be hilarious? If you ask me, I'd say that those goofy nerds would be better off without the contrived giggles of robotic people. But hey, that's just my opinion.

7.) Howie Mandel

How is this guy famous? Have you ever noticed how every time he says something "supportive" and "nice" to one of the contestants on AGT, he has to immediately supplement said flattery with condescending drivel? And on top of that, the dude thinks he's funny and knows comedy.

Want to actually laugh? Check out the video below (skip around to 3:00 if you don't want to see the creepy act) and witness how Howie's comedy career could take off.



8.) The Cancellation of Good TV Programs

I know, I know, good tv shows have been getting prematurely euthanized for years (*cough cough* Arrested Development!). But something just doesn't seem right in a world where shows like Bones get to outlive 24 (R.I.P. Jack Bauer) Other honorable cancellations include Dollhouse and the clever Party Down.

9.) Shitty Best Picture Winners

What the eff is up with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences lately? First they let Slumdog Millionaire (a hugely overrated and clichéd piece of Hollywood fluff) win over Benjamin Frickin' Button. Then they have the audacity to give the night's most prestigious award to what is the most financially unsuccessful winner of all time (for good reason as The Hurt Locker is a crapfest of epic proportions)?? It seems as though some people need to get off the Kool-Aid and vote for the real winners. Oh, and in case you didn't get it, the cookie-cutter picture above is a metaphor. Oh, yeah.

10.) Jerry Seinfeld

Remember how I said that this list was in no particular order? I lied. At least for this part. Jerry Seinfeld takes the cake because he simultaneously confuses, bores, and annoys me. From the beginning, Seinfeld has come off as an obnoxious and talentless hack. I'm sorry but Seinfeld is the single most overrated show of all time...talk about not funny. To follow such a vapid show with even more pathetic projects is just...well, pathetic (I'm looking at you Bee Movie and the Marriage Ref). And on top of that, he dissed GaGa in an obvious attempt to get back in the spotlight. Sorry Jerry, but you make me gag.

Haha, hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave me some love!

Hasta la Bye-Bye,

The Guy in the (Not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and Something Blue

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...Hi.

It's been a while. Don't judge. As many of my friends can attest to, I'm rather prone to "temporal blackouts". Which they would also say is a clever way of saying laziness. You pick. I don't care.

Now that I've returned, I plan on posting a few more times at least until school starts again. Luckily for you pop-culture-lovers out there, lots of my summer vacation involved movies, television, music, and anything in between.

Therefore, I'd like to dedicate this first "new" post to my new favorite show. This summer, I affirmed my love for the Doctor. Who is the Doctor, you may ask? Well, I think Charlie McDonald AKA charlieissocoollike (who, coincidentally, happens to be one of my favorite Youtubers) clearly explains the awesomeness of the Doctor in the video below:



Originally, I started watching Doctor Who in its third Series and accordingly, I became partial to the magnificent David Tennant and Freema Agyeman (who was apparently hated when she first took over as the Doctor's companion). This summer, however, I went back and watched the first and second series (since the 2005 return of the show) and realized why people were so apprehensive towards Agyeman. She had the difficult task of replacing the gorgeous Billie Piper (who, after watching all of the post-return episodes, has definitely become my favorite companion). Tenant and Piper can be seen below:


Earlier this year marked the arrival of Matt Smith as the new Doctor. I, myself, had serious doubts about the man who was to replace the best Doctor ever (according to me as well as any self-respecting Dalek-fearing Whovian). Fortunately, Matt Smith did a great job as the new Doctor (though nowhere near the greatness of Tenant) and delivered a solid series.


Smith, however, had the misfortune of having to deal with a fantastic scene-stealer in the form of Karen Gillan whose performance as the lovable and utterly charming Amy Pond stood out as the best thing about the fifth Series. Amy Pond is, personally, the closest a Doctor Who companion has come to perfection since Piper's Rose.



But enough about Doctor Who. I've obviously been plugging the show this entire time. But, its for good reason. Not only does DW deliver clever sci-fi adventures, it combines such adventures with lots of heart, great acting, and fantastic storytelling. But don't just take my word for it. Check it out for yourself! :)

Oh and before I go, I'd like to plug what I believe to be the best two albums of this summer. The first is Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite. Which is the best pop/dance album I've heard since The Fame Monster. Combining club beats with delicious hooks and notes that make you want to get down with your bad self, Minogue truly outdid herself.

Below is one of my favorite songs off of Aphrodite. Enjoy:



The second album is Night Work by the Scissor Sisters. Although quite similar to Minogue's album, Night Work (as the title may suggest is a tad...oh let's face it, A LOT naughtier) and draws from 70's funk music to present a unique pop/dance/disco fusion unlike anything you've likely ever heard. And although Night Work tends to be sex-heavy (though since when was that ever a problem?), it knows how campy and rather comical its being. And for that reason, the Scissor Sisters pulled off a fantastic, hip, and clever album.

Check out the new Scissor Sisters single "Any Which Way" below:



Check those two out albums if you're into dance/pop music as you probably won't be disappointed.

Well, that's all for today, keep checking back for upcoming posts! Take care peeps!

Laytaz,

The Guy in the (Not-so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

The Ayayay!-des of March

Woops. It looks like Smokey and Ben (as well as my 3 awesome followers) have been sitting around waiting for me to put up a new post for a while now. Never fear, your consistently and handsomely late friend has returned! At least until I have a life again.

So what's been racking this old brain o' mine lately? Mostly LOST theories. Sprinkled with some pessimism and a healthy dose of Gaga (by the by, I hope you have all seen her latest glory of a video; I'll touch on it in a bit). I do have another juicy topic to discuss however, and that's this year's Academy Awards. I guess that's as good a starting point as any.

In a nutshell, the Academy awards were A.) Predictable, B.) Dull and C.) Disappointing. I was, however, pleased to see Christoph Waltz walk away with "Best Supporting Actor" (an award he deserved greatly). Speaking of which, please find Waltz's spectacular number on Jimmy Kimmel Live! attached below (I hope you enjoy it as much as I did). I was also ecstatic that Sandra Bullock received the Best Leading Actress award (Miss Congeniality finally got some much deserved love!).



Sadly, however, these victories were greatly diminished by the results of the writing and "Best Picture" categories. I thought that Up in the Air and Inglourious Basterds clearly deserved the best Adapted and Original Screenplay awards, respectively. But I still had hope as the awards began to wind down. After finally watching The Hurt Locker, I feel confident in saying that it did not deserve "Best Picture". Locker was a decent action movie at best (it is after all, just a series of bomb disarming scenes separated only by a few very contrived "bonding/psychological analysis" scenes). Accordingly, Bigelow did not deserve Best Director (she did a decent job but Cameron's 14-year devotion to Avatar, a picture that will forever shape the future of cinema, clearly deserved that one). Up in the Air was the most relevant and clever film of 2009 and it saddened me to see it lose to the likes of The Hurt Locker.

Now for some very mild controversy: I recently saw the new Polanski film, The Ghost Writer. I thought it was an extremely well crafted (and expertly written) labor of love that showcased some excellent performances (particularly those of Ewan McGregor and the wonderful Olivia Williams). In the traditional vain of Roman Polanski's films, Writer slowly builds up the tension as it approaches its brilliant climax and leaves you truly shaken.

Now before I start getting some heated comments along the lines of "you should not have seen that movie because it was directed by a child molester", I'll say this: judging it as a stand-alone picture, The Ghost Writer deserves every bit of high praise it has been receiving. And, if you ask me, I'd be willing to bet that there are thousands of unheard crimes much worse than Polanski's going in in Hollywood right now. Just because few are caught and accused, we should not assume that worse activities do not take place (some done by people we revere and love). Regardless, despite the controversy surrounding this film, I strongly recommend it to anyone who appreciates Polanski's mastery. He is, without a doubt, one of the father's of the modern-day thriller and The Ghost Writer is a testament to his skill and legacy.


I sincerely hope all of you have feasted your eyes (and ears) on the lovely queen of pop's new video (if not, it's posted below, be advised: it has some graphic content). To me, it's a mess––a beautiful mess––but a mess nonetheless. Although I personally don't think it bests the brilliance of "Bad Romance", I still appreciate its daring ideas and execution. My biggest fear regarding the video is that many people will simply overlook the mini-movie's many messages and think of it as cheap entertainment. That's why I'm including a link to a page that attempts to deconstruct and analyze the video for your reading and viewing pleasure.



Here's the link to the page that deconstructs the video: http://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2010/03/deconstructing-lady-gagas-telephone-video/37458/

Lastly, I would like to plug a very excellent new television show that premiered earlier this year. Caprica (my personal choice for best new show of the year) is a fantastic new show that deserves more viewers. Already a big Battlestar Galactica geek, I've felt like something was missing from my life ever since the glorious cylon saga ended. Thankfully, with the arrival of Caprica, I can once again sleep at night. Caprica is an excellently acted drama that serves as a precursor to the events that take place in Galactica. I recommend this amazing show to anyone who appreciates tense dramas with interesting and complex characters. Please check out Caprica on Syfy at 9PM EST on Fridays. It'll be worth it.



Well, I think I've said enough for today. It feels good to be back. Please feel free to leave me any comments or bash my opinions. Have a wonderful week people.

Do Work Son,

The Guy in the (not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

It's on, Taylor Swift!

Did anyone else watch the Grammy's last night? If you didn't, lucky you. If you did, then you must be feeling the same way as I am. Last night was a night of crime. Crimes committed include: treason, theft, and the very real possibility of *gasp* bribery! My lover Lady Gaga was robbed by a scrawny blond country fame-whore. Yeah, Swift, I'm talking about you. And Beyonce-"little-miss-thang"-Knowles strode her way through the evening acting as if she is the diva queen (a title that clearly belongs to you-know-who). While Gaga's performance was one for the Grammy books (not that that's saying a lot after witnessing the tragedy after tragedy that took place last night), it was the only brief spark of joy that I felt all throughout the evening.

I was already becoming disheartened when I witnessed Gaga lose to the likes of Beyonce but it wasn't just the big awards that were disappointing. There was injustice in the smallest of categories. The best new artist category, for example, left me with my jaw dropped. Not only was it criminal that Gaga was locked out of this category due to a previous songwriting nomination, but Zac Brown band winning?? Over MGMT? Really, Grammys? REALLY?? Smells like a country music takeover!!

Now for shout out time!

To Beyonce: Nice ass but keep the ego down a tad.

To the Grammys 2010: You can SUCK on it!

And finally to miss Swift: As Ludacris once put it: Move bitch, get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! Your reign of blond-curled terror is over! The time of Gaga begins now!!

Peace yo,

The Guy in the (not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

P.S. To Gaga: last night you were a true winner. Your fans (unlike Swift's) will never leave you! :)
P.S.S. To the readers: sorry for the pissy post. I felt the need to vent. Hope you enjoyed it. I promise tomorrow's will be more light-hearted.

Friends, Family, Chelsea Handler and a Hospital Stint

I'd like to apologize for fibbing and avoiding (rather aggressively) my blogging duties to the three or four bored peeps that still keep up with my insane ramblings. Today, I'd like to take a step back and put up a journal-esque account of my final 2009 activities and some spillover into 2010. If you find it appealing, read on. If not, well there's always your right hand.

So to begin, I should say that I spent my Christmas vacation in the Caribbean and boy was it gorgeous and sunny. My recent lack of a farmer's tan should attest to that. While I was there I got together with my best friends and cousins and even went gambling for the first time (don't get too excited, I didn't win squat). I also developed an addiction to vanilla flan and fresh fruit punches (the freshly made Puerto Rican ones, not the shitty ones you get here in the states).

I even had a celebrity encounter (Perez Hilton eat your heart out!). I was in a hotel's mountain side lift with Chelsea Handler!! Now I know that that may not be too exciting for many but when you're a Bravo and E! whore like I am, its hard not to feel like you're going to pass out when you're standing two feet (literally!) away from someone like Ms. Handler. Alas, I sadly didn't work up the cojones to initiate a conversation about how much I love her and her show because somehow I figured that I might put a damper on her vacation (the woman was in a bikini and looked like she had just taken a swim). Catching a celebrity off-guard during a vacation is like petting a dog while it's trying to eat. You just don't do it because you know that there's a good chance you'll lose a finger. Or get your foot run-over (sorry Britney, I had to go there).

Regardless, I had a pretty enjoyable time. As for the return to winter-land, things could have gone somewhat more smoothly. After about 20 hours in the mainland, my family and I all started feeling a bit under the weather (so to speak). And after we each puked about 4 times each, we decided to go to the hospital. After puking my soul out (I lost track around 10) and being injected with a good 20 or so different IVs, I feel a lot better. Well, not THAT much better. I'm still so weak that the only kind of physical activity I can manage is typing this blog post. Gee, I guess that's why I finally put something new up. Maybe this is the universe's way of telling me that it will f*ck my shit up if I don't blog more often. Or maybe I have some psycho reader who made a voodoo doll of me (a reader that cares? My life is complete!).

So...all in all, not a great way to kick off 2010 and the new decade. Here's hoping that things are gonna pick up soon. At least I can promise that I'll try to keep up with this blog. That's as close as I'm gonna get to a new year's resolution so I hope it's worth something. Have a great 2010, people!

Saludos,

The Guy in the (not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

Best in Show (Business)

As 2009 winds down, I figured it would be appropriate to mention 5 pop-culture phenomenons in this year that, in my humble opinion, really shook the zeitgeist in the best way. And to all the "twi-hards" out there, I'm not a fan of sappy soft-core porn marketed to creepy women who hit on 17-year-olds. So don't complain about me not mentioning those crazy bloodless (irony?) movies.

5.) Adam Lambert

This glam-rocking, fellatio-simulating, Elisabeth Hasselbeck-enraging 27-year-old had one hell of a year. And boy was it entertaining to follow. Color me biased, but I was on the Lambert train every since he blew us all away with his rendition of Tears for Fear's "Mad World". Lambert is everything a megastar should be --he's provocative, intriguing, controversial, and best of all: entertaining. I guess he really had thought that out when he titled his debut album, For Your Entertainment.

4.) Up in the Air



Jason Reitman's third directorial endeavor proved the old "third time's the charm" theory. That's not to say that his previous two films were anything but fantastic. Up in the Air is just one of those movies that means to shake you and masterfully succeeds. The story, which revolves around a corporate "termination facilitator" during this time of great economic turbulence, manages to humanize a man that many people would not be able to resonate with. George Clooney's performance is a thing of beauty as he combines clever wit and charm with underlying pain and vulnerability. Up in the Air is, in my opinion, the best picture of the year.

3.) Glee



Few shows have the bravado to combine musical theater with authentic real-life drama and succeed. Glee does that and then some. It's characters, which are hilariously clichéd façades with underlying heartbreak are the type of people you would love to meet in real life. Despite the vocal mastery and stage presence of the glee club performers, Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester is the show's best asset. Combining her trademark deadpan with brutal comedic honesty, Lynch brews a recipe for side-splitting humor that gives the word "glee" a whole new meaning. Glee works because, it' funny, true to itself, often heartwarming, and overall a gleeful experience to partake in.

2.) Avatar



Sure, it hasn't even come out in theaters yet (go see it December 18th) but Avatar, James Cameron's 10-year-old brainchild, is supposedly the gateway to the future of film-making. Combining breath-taking visual effects and 3-D technology, the Oscar-winning director has presented this epic as his next Titanic. With a budget of half a billion dollars, it sure as hell has to be as successful as Titanic to even make a profit. Regardless, the sheer amount of massive buzz surrounding this film is enough to catapult it to the number 2 spot on this list.

1.) Lady Gaga



It's fitting that I began this list with a provocative pop star and ended it with another. Lady Gaga is, without a doubt, the breakout star of 2009. A pop goddess, a stunning fashionista, a gay rights activist, Gaga blasted her way into the pop-culture world with her smash hit, "Just Dance". Her debut album, the Fame, has sold millions of copies and her new EP album, the Fame Monster is on well on it's way to surpassing that amount. Gaga's performances have become a staple of the music industry. From bleeding on stage to smashing vodka bottles on a flaming piano, Gaga's dramatic prowess makes her the force to be reckoned with. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who influenced the pop-culture world this year more than Lady Gaga.

Until next time,

The Guy in the (Not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

P.S. Due to exams and such, I will not be able to post until sometime next week. But look forward to that post, I promise it'll be a good one!

Questions? Concerns? Advice? Insults? Lay em' on me!

So Bad, It's Good

Today I'd like to talk about guilty pleasures. As you know, these can be applied to virtually any facet of everyday life. And let's be honest, nothing feels better than winding down after a long day by engaging in something you know is innately vapid but nevertheless makes you feel great.

For example, every time I hear Paris Hilton's "Nothing in this World" I can't help but feel a rush of inspiration. That said, the song itself is overproduced, simple-minded, and above all, super cheesy. But behind the pop beats and polished hotel-heiress-turned-porn-star vocals, there's a message. A message that breeds optimism and hope. And to me, that's just dandy. I even like the song's (ridiculous) music video (posted below). Sure, it may be about a creepy kid who seems to spend all of his time polishing the raised scepter of love (as Andy Botwin once said on Weeds) to pictures of Ms. Hilton. But damn, does it feel good to see him parade his sexy new babe in front of the cliché high school bullies he so desperately tries to outshine.

I guess my point is that sometimes all we need are a few pick-me-ups during the day. And these guilty pleasures soothe us when we need it. Take the film My Boss's Daughter. It's a d-movie crap-fest but it sure as hell is a riot. Every time I see it, I cry laughing. Why? Because it tries to be funny via the stupid express and succeeds in spades. Ashton Kutcher's pathetic office-drone character doesn't want you to contemplate why he continues to spawn disasters in the house he's meant to be taking care of. He just wants you to strap yourself in and have a great time laughing at the absurd situations that unfold. I mean, who doesn't like a cocaine-addicted owl named after a famous (alleged) murderer, Carmen Electra in a wet t-shirt, and a random yet hilarious bit about someone with a funny case of folliculitis (see: ass-cheek rashes)? I'm probably the only one. But, hey, that's alright with me.

So what's my take on guilty pleasures? Whether it be reality tv, comfort food, bad pop music, or the occassional trainwreck comedy that you seem to be the only fan of, I say "go for it." We live in a society that tells us what we should and shouldn't like. Guilty pleasures provide a deviation from this norm that we should embrace. Why would I make fun of your tacky 80's jacket when I can do worse? I have Lindsay Lohan songs on my ipod for Pete's sake.



What are your guilty pleasures?

Ta-Ta,

The Guy in the (Not so) Horn-Rimmed Glasses

Questions? Concerns? Advice? Insults? Lay em' on me!